Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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