how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My vagina is officially offended.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
