i can't believe i had my finger in that
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
