So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
