what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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