i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
