I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize