Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
