you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
