There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I had to cum in my sink.
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