so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
