For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
