Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
