hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
