we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
