Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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