It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
