my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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