The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
