We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
