Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
