I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
