Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
