"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
birth control should be required to get into college
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
