Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
