remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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