hotel room ftw
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
