Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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