he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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