My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Bring me that man meat
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
