I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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