i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
