next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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