yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
