My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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