We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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