I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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