Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
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She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
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Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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