so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
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I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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