im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
