My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
