Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
