As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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