so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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