This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
