Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
