People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
