I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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