Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.