good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
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ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?