So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god