vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm like, not good at living.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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