Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
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Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
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So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!