I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit