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I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
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