Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

I think i peed on brittanys purse

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(314): I think i peed on brittanys purse http://tfl.nu/cbx1

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.

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(610): i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops. http://tfl.nu/1s76

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(630): View more from Illinois

I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.

(1-630): View more from Illinois

if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...

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(630): I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends. (1-630): if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs... http://tfl.nu/id4n

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.

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(651): Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you. http://tfl.nu/jbfy

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(860): View more from Connecticut

She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.

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(860): She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit. http://tfl.nu/aa9j

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.

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(414): we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs. http://tfl.nu/5423

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(614): View more from Ohio

just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.

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(614): just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am. http://tfl.nu/mpww

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(519): View more from Ontario

I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.

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(519): I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes. http://tfl.nu/j2g5

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(702): View more from Nevada

She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us

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(702): She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us http://tfl.nu/hsu0

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(760): View more from California

We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix

(760): View more from California

THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE

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(760): We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix (760): THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE http://tfl.nu/hk7r

Replies (5) Good night (1334) Bad night (279)
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(407): View more from Florida

When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?

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(407): When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad? http://tfl.nu/v8ru

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(540): View more from Virginia

It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...

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(540): It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces... http://tfl.nu/y5ts

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.

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(506): There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet. http://tfl.nu/yw9h

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(616): View more from Michigan

i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.

(1-616): View more from Michigan

You sure know how to make a day worth living.

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(616): i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed. (1-616): You sure know how to make a day worth living. http://tfl.nu/maop

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(801): View more from Utah

My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".

(801): View more from Utah

Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.

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(801): My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt". (801): Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment. http://tfl.nu/n7lf

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