Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that