feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets