Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
