Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize