Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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