i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
