Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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