i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.