Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"