Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
