Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
