She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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