new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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