my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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